Limerence and New Relationship Energy
by Blakely Bennett
Limerence and New Relationship Energy is the state of biochemical pleasure that people crave and yet don’t wholly understand. Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence, the intense feelings you experience in the beginning of a new relationship, in 1979 in her book called, Love and Limerence.
Limerence can cause a host of behaviors from being unable to focus, always thinking about the person of desire, checking your phone or email messages obsessively, and in the most extreme cases, you might find a person resorting to stalking. NRE is a term used in the same vein but without the obsessive aspects.
Jane, most definitely suffers from limerence in My Body-His and My Body-His (Marcello) and confuses it with love to her detriment.
Most are unconscious about what motivates their choices and decisions when in a limerent or NRE state. If people were more aware of the neurological effects, they could still enjoy the wonderful biochemical dance in their blood stream but not succumb to the obsessive behaviors or thought patterns that can manifest during the throes of unbridled hormonal passion best known as dopamine—the “LOVE” drug.
People who tend to have very short-term relationships are probably addicted to the limerent chemical rush. As soon as the effects wear off, they move on to a “new” relationship. Luke, in the My Body Trilogy suffers from this condition.
I’m here to testify that the good parts of relationship energy can last longer when there is open honest communication and ongoing intimacy. My husband and I still have it!
NRE can be beneficial if people consciously deal with the effects responsibly and knowledgably. Let love rule but don’t let it cloud your brain.
The third book of the My Body Trilogy will be released tomorrow, July 15th. Make sure to read the finale of the trilogy where Jane most certainly overcomes her limerence.