Featured Author – Rich Meyer

newprofilepic001smallToday the stage is Rich Meyer’s. He loves questions, and so do I. 🙂

Hi Rich, thanks for taking the time to sit (offers him a chair and hides the rope ready to tie him done behind her back) and answer some questions. I promise it won’t hurt and be over in a jiffy.

Hold on, don’t go! The rope is to … to … to tie the lion in the kitchen down before is can come in and eat the chocolate brownies! Here have one.

Let’s not waste anymore time and get started. Is it true you have written over thirty! Thirty! books? Where do you find the time?

Well, it really wasn’t that hard. It’s not like these thirty are full-length novels. While it can take a bit of creativity to keep them interesting, I’ve really only got to write between a hundred and a thousand sentences to get them going.

I’m a long-time trivia player, so my quiz books are merely an extension of that hobby. I’ve got plenty of time, too. I’m disabled (my legs and back are rebelling on me after thirty-five years of preparing myself to play the role of Jabba the Hutt on Broadway), and I got nothing but time. I do a lot o’ reading and writing. Not too much ‘rithmetic, though. I did fail a semester of Algebra in high school.

Ha, that’s easy, I failed that one too. 🙂 What is your favourite thing in life? Eating chocolate, or Mr. Ed? Feel free to digress. 🙂

I could go all sappy here and say it’s spending time with my family (my wife Mona and our menagerie of li’l furballs), or admit my addiction to sweet stuff (oh, you sacrilegiously good Three Musketeers!), but let’s face it: I’m a bibiophile. I like reading. Give me a Hunter S. Thompson book and put a Frank Zappa guitar solo in my earbuds and I’m happy as a bug in a rug. Well, before the delousing, anyway.

I know your children are quite hairy, but after the fourth being that …. Well, different, didn’t you think it became time to try for the bolder kind?

Nope. Don’t care for children. I’m not exactly all here <points to cranium> all of the time, so I really wouldn’t want that sort of responsibility. And since I follow no religion, I’m not honor bound to “be fruitful.”

Personally, I think being a parent is something you should be licensed for BEFORE you’re allowed to play hide-the-sausage, but that’s just me.

I must agree with you on that one, Rich. It would mean a lot less problems, but a lot of social workers would be without a job if that were ever to become a law.  

Okay, I could talk for hours with you on all sorts, but that is not why you are here, is it? So, what is the title of the book you would like to talk about?

Well, right now I’ve published my second print book, The Monster Quiz Book. The_Monster_Quiz_Boo_Cover_for_Kindle

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It’s a reformatted and revised version of an earlier e-book of the same title. I just added 200 questions to it and gave it the whole nine yards treatment on CreateSpace. The first movies I ever saw were Valley of the Dragons, Gorgo, and X the Unknown, so I guess technically we can mostly blame the United Kingdom for the way I am today.

Hahaha, those British do know how to get us laughing and questioning things. At least they have that effect on me. What has this effect on you, my dear readers?

Did you have difficulty coming up with the title?

Not really. It sorta wrote itself. I mean, the whole book is about monsters … it’s a quiz book … I don’t think Shakespeare had it as easy as that. I mean, “Two Gentlemen of Verona”? Pshaw.

If you would have to change the genre in order to be able to publish it, what would it be then? i.e. would you conform to the market?

I’m not exactly a conformist. I often tone myself down out of politeness and decorum, but I talk and act in real-life the same way I do on the net. I’ve been working on a couple of novels/novellas, and while one is a pulpy super-hero tale, the other’s more into bizarro fiction. I’m not going to get rich doing this, but it’s something to do and it’s fun. If people like it, cool. If they buy it, cool. If they don’t, I’m not going to get suicidal about it.

Can you tell me how you celebrate finally getting that tricky chapter (or para) right?

By taking a nap. I was three weeks working on a very short story for an anthology some friends were putting out, but every time I sat down to write, there was one crisis or another that prevented me. If you think your furnace might need repairs, or your car inspection went bad, or if one of your canine pals passes away (R.I.P. Montagoon Marie Meyer), it is VERY hard to be creative. Sure, you can use that frustration in your writing, but you have to have the time to marshal yourself as well. I actually finished the story just last night (as of this writing) and I went to sleep.

Right with that out of the way and to confuse you we’ll take the alternative route now. What don’t you like about writing.

Other than the promotional and marketing aspects, I pretty much like everything. The hours are great. The rewards are okay, mentally and often financially. And I get to be me and no one can complain. Because if they do, they’re dead. In my next story, that is.

And writing the middle of a book. I have two or three novels with the beginning and the end finished perfectly. But there’s all that damn exposition and character stuff you have to put in between them. Very annoying.

What do you do marketing wise and what do you think generates the most attention to your books?

I don’t do a lot right now, really. I occasional post a promo for a book or my book formatting service on a few Facebook pages (where it’s allowed, of course), but I’m not an in-your-face kind of person that way. And when you figure that most of the groups I belong to are made up of writers from various genres or industries (self-publishing, comic books, etc.), I don’t see the point of it – most of them are in the same financial straits as me, and I know I don’t like seeing a lot of spam for books I can’t buy. And really, if a friend wants a copy of one of my e-books, hell, I’d be glad to give it to them. That’s sorta the whole friend thing, ya know?

*I smile expectantly, but don’t say a word.* 

Is there any food or beverage that is a constant factor in either your books or life?

Pepsi or Diet Pepsi. Or whatever caffeinated soda happens to be on sale at the Giant. I have an allergy to coffee, so that’s how I get my caffeine. And my ability to cosplay Bouncing Boy. Go ahead and google. I’ll wait. <rimshot>

Click on the image and see why she’s so excited. 🙂

What is your favourite dish and can you give me the recipe?

Oh jeez. I have so many “favorite” dishes (and things, movies, books, comics, etc.) that it’s hard to settle for just one. I’d have to say I love tabuli more than anything. It’s just so fresh tasting when it’s made correctly (i.e., not by me).

A delish salad with bulghur and tomato.

Would you be able to come up with a credible excuse why you haven’t written a whole day? Remember, I have to believe it!

I could not write yesterday because it was my turn to man the battlements on the main wall of the town! Jinkies! We can’t let the zombie racoons in, woman! Imagine if they had taken over the borough hall! Think about the children!

Hahahaha, yeah, I totally believe that one. 🙂 Okay, now that we have the mandatory questions out of the way, shoot your mouth off. Tell me whatever you want the blab about. Make me laugh, or cry, or even envious. Tell me something none has ever heard before from you. Hehehe, love those little dirty secrets, real or make believe. 🙂

Let’s see … I have been told I am somehow related to the guy who played The Flash on TV. Which would be cool if they remake it, ’cause then I’d have an ‘in’ to be Turtle-Man, the role I was BORN to play. I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille! Err. Sorry. I also once accidentally told Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons that his game sucked. In my defense, he was dressed like a normal person and not a high-falooting wizard or anything. I’m also a mutant in the Marvel Comics Universe. And I’ve had my picture taken with both Fee Waybill AND Raymond the Amish Comic. Bow before me in envy, Lucy!

*Which I do, if only for this author’s cunning ways of captivating me with his words. Not to mention the fact he loves questions as much as I do!*

Most of what I do is just for a laugh. I do take most of my work over at Indies Unlimited quite seriously – there are a lot of people, places and websites out there that are preying on neophyte self-published writers. I call them vanity predators instead of publishers. I try to do what I can to root out the really bad ones and warn folks about them.

A self-publisher has have to have both confidence in yourself and a willingness to learn new things. You can save yourself a lot of money by doing some very simple aspects of book publishing process yourself. The one thing you need is INFORMATION! Check things out! Never take ANYTHING at face value! Putting out a book can be very painful, like a root canal, or a fairly pleasurable experience, like when the dentist gives you that wonderful, wonderful nitrous oxide. You as a writer have to take the responsibility to know what is going on and not get captured in the vanity predators’ traps!

<GUMP>And that’s all I have to say about that. </GUMP>

Well, it was very … informative? (laughs) I’m sorry, thanks Rich, you have been a great guest, I’d love to see the back of you, erm, I mean to see you back! Yes, please do come back when you have more news, or just some questions to ask my readers.

Before you run off tell us where we can find your book, and you online.

I am all over the place, but mostly at the following ones:

FacebookFacebook Author PageQuantum Formatting ServiceRich’s Random Reviews and RamblingsA Life of Temporal ConfusionAmazon Author Central, and Indies Unlimited.

My book is available at:

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