How To Write Live Like a Goblin

I found another post by Fleamailman, aka The Goblin, which I wanted to share with you.


which was the very moment the spacecraft landed, and a little green alien said “…take me to your leader…”, the goblin replied “…well, I don’t know if he’s actually the one you want, he’s rather busy too, but a word of advise then, don’t mention the housing crisis, unemployment, the price of petrol, global warming, the troops in Iraq and alfghanistan, the deficit, gunlaws, unlawful detentions, torture and the exchange rate, second thoughts would you like larry king or jerry springer instead…” to which the alien scratched his head, got back on his spaceship and whizzed away not quite sure what to make of the humans then, nor of the goblin for that matter


Would aliens think humans are too weird and leave, or are we truly aliens ourselves?


3 thoughts on “How To Write Live Like a Goblin

  1. I have always assumed that since the first contact aliens would have had with us would have been television waves beaming off into space, they’d have seen I Love Lucy or the Honeymooners and decided, “these people are completely cluster insane. Don’t go anywhere near that solar system.”

  2. (and then the goblin showed, saying “…nice choice, pity this place isn’t a forum or I’d be able to chat with some of you writertypes now…”, whereupon the goblin just continued “…no I blame the readers myself, I mean, what with only 3% of them still reading books or ebooks, one wonders what one has to do to get them interested, and what the writer too, will do to meet them half way then…”, in fact, the writertypes themselves were often their own worst avocators here, to which the goblin just smiled “…by your posts are you now, so take care of the posts and the books will take care of themselves…”)

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