Featured Author – Tonya Kappes

TonyaToday I have a bit of a special guest, she’s not only an author but I wanted her on ATW because she can tell us a lot about another subject of interest for indie authors too. Ladies and Men, please welcome Tonya Kappes.
Hi Tonya, thanks for taking the time to answer a few of my questions.
Is there any food or beverage that is a constant factor in either your books or life?
YES! Coffee is a must for me. Every morning I have virtual coffee with my street team members around 6:30 a.m. and the cups don’t stop until I go to bed. 🙂
Do you ever chuckle when you’ve written a scene?
I generally don’t chuckle when I’m writing, but when I go back through to do the edits, or after my editor sends me edits, I will read a scene and laugh. Sometimes I think, “did I write that?”
What is the title of the book you would like to talk about, and can you give us a small taster of it?
I’m working on the second novel in the DIVORCED DIVA series~CRIMPED TO DEATH. TonyaKappes_CrimpedToDeath_200px
It’s so much fun when women of all ages come together and plot ways to kill their ex-husbands until one of them really does show up dead. *evil laugh*
The novel won’t be out until April. Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000032_00025]Readers can catch up by reading the first book, STRUNG OUT TO DIE, which made it on the USA Today bestsellers list.
Did you have difficulty coming up with the title?
I always have a title before I even write the first word. I like to have the title and the plot tie together.
I know you’re known as a bit of a marketing guru, what do you do marketing wise and what do you think generates the most attention, i.e. sales?
I have never really tracked what I have done in the way of advertising/marketing with sales. There is one thing I can always count on for sales~WORD OF MOUTH!
No better advertisement than that, me thinks. It must be the fact that the books are really well written then, eh? I must get one and read it to see if they make me come back for more too.
Okay, now that we have the mandatory questions out of the way, shoot your mouth off. Tell me whatever you want the blab about. But please no cat’s, dogs, or children. Make me laugh, or cry, or even envious. Tell me something none has ever heard before from you. hehehe, love those little dirty secrets, real or make believe. 🙂
I was in debt from my first marriage. He left me with a lease on a car and a five carat diamond on a five mm sterling silver band. I didn’t need the debt so I decided that I would hock the ring and pay off the lease and have a few bucks left over because trustworthy ex told me the ring was appraised for an ungodly amount of money.
I strolled in the first jewelry store with the ring in my grip knowing I was going to walk out with thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars. The gemologist took the eye loupe and gave the shiny diamond ring a once over. Slowly he took loupe down from his eye and said, “I’ll give you four hundred for it.”
I laughed. He didn’t. I knew he was just trying to get my ring for nothing. Graciously I took back the ring and headed to the next jewelry store.
The procedure was the same. The gemologist looked closely at the ring with the loupe and slid it back to me.
He said, “I’ll give you two-hundred and fifty for it.”
My eyes lowered. I scowled. I took really good mental notes of his face because I was going to kill him off in my next book. Seemed fair. He was trying to stick it to me so I would kill him.
I grabbed the ring and headed downtown.
I LOVED going downtown because two of my favorite stores were right next to each other. Saks Fifth Avenue and Tiffany’s, though I never bought, only looked. Heck, I had a leased car!
I had heard that Tiffany’s buys jewelry or can turn your jewelry into something different and they were reputable. They weren’t going to jack me around.
As soon as I stepped in, my eyes closed, I took a big, deep breath. I swear those blue boxes have a heavenly scent.
I was greeted by the sweetest saleswoman. I told her that I wanted to get an appraisal on the ring. Her long fingers dipped into my palm and gently took the ring.
“Very beautiful.” Her brows raised in delight, causing my heart to leap. “I’ll be right back.”
She scurried off just as another associate came up to me with a glass of champagne on a silver platter.
“Please enjoy while you wait.”
Enjoyed I did. It was the most delicious champagne I had ever tasted, even if it wasn’t from the box.
A few minutes later, the saleswoman emerged from the back and bee lined it right toward me.
“I’m sorry.” She plucked the champagne glass from my grip, almost leaving the stem in my hand. “We don’t sell cubic zirconia here.”
And she twirled on her tiptoes and disappeared into the back.
Dumbfounded. Embarrassed. Disbelief. I was left standing with my mouth wide open and images of me running over my ex with that damn leased car played over and over.
Slowly, I turned around. Saks Fifth Avenue windows were all light up with the most beautiful handbags in the window.
I started to grin. Then the grin got bigger.
I ran out of Tiffany’s and took an immediate right. I ran down to the pawn shop on the corner and walked out with one thousand dollars in my pocket. The only thing they wanted was the platinum band, not the cubic zirconia. Who cared? I had one thousand dollars in my pocket!
I rushed right back down the street and opened the door to Saks Fifth Avenue. In a few short minutes, I walked right back out with the most beautiful Gucci handbag on my shoulder.
But the real gratification came when my ex happened to ask me what I had done with the ring. I hung the purse on my ring finger, tossed my hair behind my shoulders and walked away.
I did look back, but this time his mouth was dragging the ground.
Thank you, Tonya. That was by far the most hilarious thing I’ve heard in a long time. Good luck with the coming release and if you ever feel the need to share more of these tid bits of your life, don’t hesitate to contact me. 🙂
For those that want to stalk, erm I mean follow this USA Today Bestselling Author, she can be found on:

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